My husband and I have the dumbest arguments, which is why we’re still truly, madly, deeply in love after 17 years of marriage – we agree on what’s important and work to keep the big stuff in perspective. It’s the small stuff that tends to ruffle our feathers.
For example, this week we argued about $10.
When the cost of living keeps increasing, with no sign of our income following suit, $10 is a bigger deal than in the days we were DINKs (double income no kids). I pay the bills and keep the wolves at bay, so 99% of the time my husband will follow my lead on what’s worth our hard earned money and what isn’t. But every once in a while he goes rogue and gives it away – usually to some Kickstarter project or a creator he discovered on Patreon. As soon as he opened his mouth to describe his latest act of generosity, I began to list what the $10 could help pay for in our family budget.
Now, my husband knows damn good and well what our bills are each month. My act of “schooling him” added nothing new to the conversation, but it did prompt his telling me (eventually, after much dumb arguing occurred) what the $10 really paid for: a piece of a bigger picture. I learned that the act of supporting another artist does his heart good, giving him hope for his own artistic endeavors. I’m sure you’ll agree, that’s a far more desirable fix than if he relied on a substance or situation to lift his spirits.
In his work/relationships/world, my husband is often the canvas – blank and filled with possibilities. Some of the frames in his life complement and complete what he has created. Others serve only as boundaries or a means for putting it on display. When I’m reminded of the roguish side of this man, it’s easy to see and support his desire to do something outside himself.
Plus, it was his roguish side that prompted him to choose me. That, my friends, is worth all the $10 investments in the world.
P.S. Yes, my husband made the gorgeous piece of art pictured in this post (insert huge, proud grin here).