We’re almost midway through my luminous year and I’m still seeking to understand what a more luminous life could/should/would look like. If luminous means producing or reflecting light, maybe I should give some thought to the kinds of light I’m working with?

By now you know I’m drawn to flames of all kinds, but let’s be honest: the light they emit is more aesthetic than practical. Lighting a candle is about setting a mood, not about seeing things. Perhaps it’s time for me to romanticize things a little less and turn on a lamp or two so I can see myself more clearly?

Meanwhile, my fireplace is just another kind of candle, but even less practical, because it’s limited to certain seasons of the year. Plus, it burns brightly for a bit, but in the end I’m just left with ashes and smoke. Most of its heat goes straight up the flue and it can never be left unattended, for fear of starting a much bigger fire. My fireplace reminds me of most of my relationships – I love the idea and the few picture-worthy moments it provides, but overall it’s just a lot of work, with nothing to show for it. Still, I know good things can come from the ashes, so what if I focus more on what comes after the fire and less on the shiny spectacle itself?

Then there’s the sun, which burns my fair and freckled skin and causes temps that simply exhaust me. So, enjoying it means slathering on the SPF or looking at it from inside my house. Alas, the majority of my windows face north and south, meaning my houseplants and I don’t get much direct sunlight. Guessing the lesson here is to remember there are supplements I can take to make up for my lack of access to the sun. Instead of bemoaning a sunless life, I just need to take my vitamin D. And although the indirect light I’m blessed with won’t work for all plants, there are some that absolutely love it. So, instead of trying unsuccessfully to grow something that needs more than I have to give, I need to do my research, find those low light lovers, and put my time and energy into them.

Apparently there’s plenty left to unpack in my word for this year and lots to appreciate about the already luminous parts of my life these days. Now I need to work on recognizing, claiming, and making something out of all of it.