Yesterday, when the US Supreme Court voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, I heard/read countless folks say “I can’t find the words” . . . to express their anger, their sadness, their disbelief about this life-altering decision.
My first thought? I can’t even find the letters.
So, I let the day pass and sat with my feelings, listened to others process theirs, and did the hardest thing: educated my sons about what yesterday’s ruling means. They knew I’d had two miscarriages in the years between their births, but they didn’t know I had an abortion each time, because my body wouldn’t/couldn’t resolve the miscarriages on its own. They assumed I am “beyond” my child bearing years and this (technically) didn’t affect me. I explained that menopause hasn’t begun for me and we talked about the dangers and complications that can accompany a pregnancy at my age. My youngest worried out loud for his 17 year old best friend (a young woman). My oldest asked if I’d be willing to move to a more liberal state. It was one of the best conversations I’ve ever had with either of them.
Feeling gratitude on such a dark day was another reminder of how important it is to celebrate the little things. I can hate 99% of what’s happening in my life and still/always find three good things. The world can feel like it’s imploding, and I can still be grateful for the (1) conversations, (2) the feelings of connectedness, and (3) the camaraderie this tragedy inspired.
Remembering my commitment to write more often, I poured out my jar of leftover Scrabble tiles and searched them, like tea leaves, for some word of hope or prompt for this post. I saw my name amidst the tiles and a few other random words, and thought about the importance of talking. Sharing our stories, having hard conversations, staying at the table – it all matters right now. Even when what’s in my head feels like a string of Scrabble tiles, I know my words can build off of your words, and more words will come, and together we’ll figure out what to say.
Hi Leah,
I love your blog and encourage you to keep writing.. and continue the habit of focusing on the good! 🙂 I’m a firm believer that this helps to live your best life! The practice will alter perspectives and a grateful mindset will develop and grow. It’s hard to do during life’s struggles, but it does get easier over time.
Also, I like your eldest son’s idea to consider a move to a more liberal state. Taking charge and moving out of state with your sons could be so empowering! It would also offer new beginnings, while opening your world to all kinds of possibilities. And it’s so nice to be among like-minded people. For example, consider Oregon or Washington state -they have so much to offer!
There is such beauty in the world, and I have optimism that you will regularly see it, feel it, and experience it! ❤️
And HERE is Leah the Consummate Writer. I deplore and hate the fiasco that has occasioned your words—and at the same time, I’m celebrating the joy of reading your superb writing. Thank you for talking with your sons, for sharing a bit of those conversations with us, and for displaying yet again what a great gift you have with the expression of life through words.
Well said! We are going to need to look for the good more than ever. I have found the Ukrainian (and Belarusian) people to be inspirational that way. I have followed the repression and rebellion in Belarus for a while because I felt…connected to it during the Trump years and it has become even more salient.
My beautiful, talented daughter, I salute you. I have moved between anger and sadness and know more may be coming. I’m so glad you had a good discussion with the boys. Most wouldn’t begin to know the impact if no one talks with them. I’m always in awe at your use of words, and not just any ones but those that when put together have the most impact. Continue to use one of your most precious gifts, and that s communication through the written word