I used to love weekends. When I was married they provided uninterrupted time for household projects or play time with my family, and even errands (when done together) were fun. When I was seeing someone they were “date nights,” and I happily rushed through chores so I could leisurely primp and enjoy the anticipation of what was to come. Now, for the first time in my life, I look forward to Mondays and the distraction of work and busyness.

I know, that’s pretty pathetic. But I promise I’m not all work and no play. For the past few weekends I’ve been intentional about setting up a sort of watercolor charcuterie board – I bring out all my supplies and leave them out all weekend, so I can stop and paint in between chores, anytime I feel like it. It’s been an interesting experiment. Usually I wait to create until the end of my day, like dessert after I’ve finished my vegetables, when all my musts and shoulds on my list are done. But having a paint brush and water at the ready, with a stack of 4 x 6 watercolor paper (the perfect size for a 10 minute treat) has changed how and when I create. Today it was how I started my day, before I’d put myself together or even brushed my teeth, I was dragging color across paper to wake myself up.

I can hear good friends and my mother in my head, teasing out this metaphor. Happiness isn’t something you save for later, it must be found in the moments, in between the ordinary this and that. I think I used to know that. It’s why even chores and errands were more fun when done with people I loved. Now I guess I just need to find different sources of joy. Instead of taking comfort in companionship, I’ll find it in the moments I create for myself. The pause to paint with watercolors. The time spent tending plants in my kitchen. The crossword puzzle I work while waiting for the laundry to dry.

I suppose the secret is in what I lay out for myself. For today, I am surrounded by landscapes.