I’ve purchased fresh flowers for myself almost every week since he left. Kroger has the best selection of marked down bouquets on Mondays and today I brought home a dozen red roses for $3.00. I know that walking through the grocery with a bouquet in my cart will elicit a well-meant comment or two. “Special occasion?” is the most common response and it’s just easiest if I answer, “Yes!”
It’s not a lie. I’m treating myself to something special. Although, the occasion is a little hard to explain, it’s special too. After twenty years spent convincing my husband I didn’t need flowers (or cards or candy on Valentine’s Day or romantic gestures, just because), these short-lived beauties are a new tradition I’m creating in my new household. They are the centerpiece of what I call my happy place – a collection of pretty things that simply make me happy when I look at them. Best of all, no matter what the rest of the house looks like, my happy place sits on an uncluttered table, where my eyes can rest without triggering thoughts of dirty dishes and other chores I should be doing.
Lately, I’ve been trying to include items that inspire my other senses. Lit candles make me feel warm. Peppermint sticks smell and taste good. And the roses feed my eyes, fill my nose, and soothe my slowly healing heart.
Honestly, it’s all just redirection; the same concept I used when I had to transition my boys from one activity to another. Instead of letting them focus on the change that was happening (which, generally, made them sad), I’d redirect their attention to something new, making the end of a favorite activity much easier.
Now, instead of sitting in my living room, noticing what (or who) isn’t there, I look at my happy place and take comfort in the cozy tableau I created. And having a spot or a moment that makes me happy is a special occasion these days. Thank goodness I brought home flowers to celebrate!