One of the biggest reasons I ended up studying theater in college is because I love being scripted. I discovered there is enormous freedom in knowing what’s coming next, because then I can silence my internal editor and truly live in the moment. It’s a wonderfully safe place from which to work – like a recipe you’ve used a million times or a task you’ve performed for years. It’s the kind of setting in which introverts, like me, can thrive and even appear daring, now and then.
Understand that a “script” can be all sorts of things – a place, a set of people, a career, even a title. For me, my script is a clearly defined role – be it ingenue or wacky neighbor, part of a crowd scene or performing a solo, volunteering as a room parent or serving as chairperson – I perform best when I know what my part is in the bigger picture.
Last week, the role I’ve held for 5 and 1/2 years ended. I am no longer gainfully employed.
I can’t readily recall the last time that was true for me. I’ve had some kind of job since I was old enough to work (16 in Illinois). I worked afternoons and weekends during high school. I worked all through college. Even in those first awkward years of adulthood, when I tried on a dozen or so different hats – waitressing, temping, selling jewelry, working in the front office of a coal mine – I was always working or just days away from my next job.
Now, not only is my next employer unknown to me, I’m not even sure what field I’ll be working in. Well-paying jobs are scarce, so I can’t limit myself or my search. At my age and stage of life, I realize this may be my last chance at a major career shift, so I’m considering retraining or tightening my family’s belt so I can take a lower paying job and work my way up in a new field.
All of these questions sit in front of me, like an audience filled with strangers, waiting for me to entertain them. And here I stand, center stage, at the end of Act I, with no script for whatever follows this intermission.
I suppose one option is for me to write my own script. How long is intermission? God, I hope there are enough snacks to keep the audience busy while I figure this out.
Waiting with you, Leah–no snacks needed. Speaking of intermissions, I love the GWTW reference. As gifted as you are in so many areas, I think the challenge for you will be deciding where to land in the reinvention. Just remember you’re accompanied, and your audience is an adoring one. Adoring, and also honest with you as needed:) You CAN do this, whatever it is.
Thank you, SarahLee! I find the GWTW image especially appropriate, since I’m anticipating an equally long second act
Having just gone through a similar experience (I only started my new job last week after 17 months of looking), I think this captures it very well. I wish you the best.
As usual I am enchanted with the way you put your thoughts/feelings into words in ways that draw people near and have them saying, “I have had a similar experience and never thought of it as a play with an intermission, but I like it.” Oh, the roles we play. Just remember to look for the AUTHENTIC you and hold on to what the real you wants.
I found the news of your departure from LPTS sad and troubling. May Spirit give you patience as you seek out some other path of fulfillment. Patricia Kessel, Portland, Oregon
Sometimes in life we keep following the same old script and it no longer suits us. We don’t know how to change it so having it yanked away is the only way we will pursue another script. May even take a few tries to find the right one. Just know we are praying for the right one to come your way!
While I know the unknown is unsettling, I am glad you are looking at this positively, as an opportunity to have a clean slate, a fresh start. When you are busy living life, being the grownup, you almost don’t realize that life is passing you by, and you may not necessarily be doing what is truly meant for you to do; so, fate steps in and jerks the rug out, seemingly kicking you in the teeth, all the while you may not be realizing you are being handed a new opportunity. You are a tenacious seeker, and I am sure you will find a new path to explore.
I chuckled when I saw the GWTW reference/intermission slide….how appropriate!
Good luck!